THIS THING CALLED YOU ! WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE DEAD !


After My Son Chess was Killed I was More Lost Than Ever,I had Just crashed the Barracuda into 4 other cars on A Brand new Car lot in the Middle of the Day and Had lots of drugs on me And Was suppose to leave on tour and was Looking at a felony DWI,Had to Cancel the Tour and Get sober again and Was not Happy Already,Then My Ex girl Junkie GirlFriend Sue’d Me For My Record label because she Had Sold Everything I Left her Including everything that filled up a 3 bedroom pad with Knarley antiques/candy and cigerette machines a 1967 Chrysler 300 ect,fucking Everything I worked my ass off for in the 6 years I did with her including Raising her Daughter ! So She Needed more and hit Me with some crazy 3 million dollar Law suit to get my label that was maybe worth 10 or 15 grand and Getting lower by the Day with the Whole Changeing of the Music Biz ect. Dude, She Even Kept it Going after Chess died, I had Raised her Daughter 6 yrs and When I was on the Road 10 months a year I had Chess live with us when he was 13 and had Him in school and I find out she had Locked him out all the Time along with a bunch of other koo Koo shit Lies and when I got home after an 8 weeker I was only stoked to Come Back to him and She had him Kicked out 2 days before my Return ,so I Had had some Fucking issue’s Going on when her lawyer said he heard about chess and wanted to give Me 30 days to get over it ! A Year and half and 60 grand later,we won,then they were gonna apeal ! So same process again with papers Flipped around or Pay the Fucking junkie off ! 3 and Half Mill goes down to 18 grand over the Course of a year and It totaly fucked up my Partnership and Long Time relationship With The Bomp people ! We only sold brand new bands and They are the hardest to Sell anyhow and it was barley paying for itself and I would do A release every here and There to Keep the Thing rolling so after 40 releases I was very proud of that label and Loved giving first and second Records to new bands ect. Then after about 5 months of sobriety and riding only my electric skateboard everywhere Cuz they took my Lic for 18 months, My 20 year old Son Chess gets Killed in A car wreck ! I Completely Loss my mind, whatever was left of it ! my Oldest Son Schuyler was the one who called me and Told me and That whole Scene was horriffic to say the Least ! So Long Story Long, I made him move in with me and get sober, after the Funeral we were so Fucking Lost for the next four months I Grew a Beard and Just got by pretty much never leaveing the Garage and watching tons of Conspiracy video’s and Just fighting to keep the Gun outta my mouth ! eventually Schuyler moved out and Did his thing and I tried to kill my self the Day before I was schedualed to leave for 8 months of solid touring with the Bombs and The Gunfight ! I got A Script for 3 differant types of Pills and A bottle of Captain morgans and Locked myself in My Office and Swallowed enough pills to Kill 5 elephants and Slugged half A bottle of Captains with no Chase and stared at My sons Pictures I Had Up all around my Office and Said ” See ya in A Minute” ! I woke up to being Saved again because My then Wife Corey had forgotten something after she went somewhere with friends and Thought it was weird that my office was Locked ! The Next day She asked if I was gonna get sober again and I told her No ! I,m Done and Had 3 bottles Of Vodka a Night on my Band riders and Every Fucking drug you can Name on Some Hellish Touring which Lasted all the Way till 2 weeks Left and Then I Got sent home from europe because I was Right next to Dead and My Guitar Player Kerry Martinez couldnt watch anymore ! after a Long Stay at Cry help and Recovery homes I lasted a bit,Then after I got sent home I still was not the Same and Just Fucking darkness Forever Kind of shit ! So with Lots of Dead friends and The whole world on my Back, Board sells are Down , shoe sells are Down, every thing is Down and I dont even know if I want anything any more or what any thing is ! So I was Argueing way to much with Corey in front of my son Clash ! I had to Leave and Take My darkness down to sanDiego where I moved in with Gunfight Gutar player and Just Cry’d in my Room everyday for the next 2 years with some Road in between and bits of skateing and Getting by !
A Chick came up to me at one of the last Gunfight shows and Said she Felt Compelled to Give me This book and It helped her Get threw alot with her grandpa dying. I put it in a Bag and didnt even look at it till I got home ! But when I saw the Title ? I went, Wow ! this could be a Good Book ! The Thing Rules and makes so much sense to me I Read bits now eevery now and Then along with lotsa other stuff but man ! The Victim Clowd has been so Heavy threw the last four years ! that it just gets fucking old as Hell to live in the Shit and I gotta find away out and In the Meantime it seemed Like everytime I turned around I was being thrown in the hospital for Something man ! Broken pelvis,Torn Roto Cuff ! The Fucking leg incedent Blah blah ! Shit i just got knocked out in the combi 2 weeks ago then Had a Gamal ceasure while Driving right afterwards and my websight guy Terry was in the Van and hit the Brake With his hand to save us ! So ya Never Know what the Heck is Comeing Next ! But I WILL NOT LIVE IN FEAR ! I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO ! and VICTIM SHIT ? FUCK YOU ! LIFE IS LIFE AND I WANT TO LIVE IT TO THE MAX ! GREAT BOOK ! HELPED ALOT !

one of my many sober sponser type guys Kicked this one down to me ! helps alot ! Specially with Daily aformations and Reminds me as I forget Daily That Werds are Powerful ! all kinds of Rad stuff !
Reminds me were Souls with Bodies,Not Bodies with Souls !



To Me LOVE is all that really Really Matters in The Over all Picture and I,m Moving forward on Just Being a Better man, Thats all I want anymore ! TO BE A BETTER MAN ! I SAID THAT AT THE FUNERAL FOR MY KID ! and it was Killing me not fast enough when I was getting all Fucked up and I Would think about what I said all the Time and Just Be Going… FUCK !!!!! I HATE ME Blah Blah ! Brutal Living or Dieing ,whatever.

My Moms mom- Grandma Winnie-RIP Gave this to My mom who Gave it to Me- Great Little Book of Real rad Inspirational Simple Poems- I Love This Book , It helped my Mom alot, Lotsa old School Love !

I Got to See My Grandma for the Last time about 8 years ago while on the Road with the bombs and We Drove to Coleman Mich So we could All have Lunch ! She Gave Me This Angel pen I keep in A Case on my Dresser.

The Longer we all Live ,The More Tradgedies are gonna Hit us all ! So, I gotta work on Semi Sanity everyday and To me,Thats OK. Life is A trip And I Gotta Ticket to Ride and So do You ! were all as free as we want to be !
I,m Not on some New spirtual trip, I,m just sharing this shit because I know some of You can relate and I,m Really into just Chippin away at Feeling better about the Whole Deal of Being on the Planet with all this stuff Going on and Guess what ? Yep, People are Going To Die, But that Dont Gotta be The end ! at Least to me.

This entry was posted on March 12th, 2011 by Duane Peters and is filed under family, life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

12 Responses to “THIS THING CALLED YOU ! WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE DEAD !”

Jeff Haynes • March 14th, 2011 at 1:49 am

Duane,
Thanks for taking the time to talk to Emily and I in 2006 at the Trifecta and again in August of 2010 in Kentucky. We laid my 47 yr old brother to rest in 2006 just before leaving for Oregon. Mom’s been gone 7 years today, dad since I was 17 (1989). I can’t imagine what you have been through but I’m glad you’re here. Like you told me, “stay skate” and that’s what I do. Trying to teach my 12 year old son all I can before time is up. Can’t argue with the final buzzer. Stand strong and stay skate.

dirtdog • March 15th, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Thanks for the honesty. Many can learn a lot from others’ experiences so maybe they can avoid some of the tragedy of life, and be able to deal with it when it comes. One Day At A Time Brother…

Chase • March 17th, 2011 at 4:18 am

Digging this Duane. Life sucks for me right now and it’s nice to hear some inspiring words from someone who’s been there.

Much appreciated.

Adrian • March 18th, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Thanks for sharing. I am happy that you are and sharing yourself. I don’t know if you are ready for your next book, but a friend recommended the book ” soul without shame” to me and I have been reading it for the last couple of months . It hAs a lot of exercises to help develop awareness of your true self and the reality we are creating. It is helping me to awaken to the beautiful mystery we are all a part of. Instead of imposing are beliefs onto the world, learn to let the unlimited

Adrian • March 18th, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Possibilities that exist reveal itsel to you. Why limit ourselves to the infinite possibilities. Probably because it is scary to be in the experience of this mystery. We have so much power to create what we desire yet we get lost in that vastness because we are disconnected from our true nature and also lost in the identity of our own drama. When this body dies we will see the beauty that has existed in all of those difficult moments. Sensing thinking feeling transcending and then moving on to the next experience.

sonny • March 21st, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Just wanted to say your an inspiration duane. You’ve definitley been through a lot…but how you deal with life, other people, situations, shit in the world, is what defines you(your soul). Everyone in this world is a broken person and we can all relate on some level because of that if we actually try. Its all about love and compassion and not being afraid to adjust in our ways of thinking, attitudes, and perspectives.

Tim • March 23rd, 2011 at 7:32 am

DP-I’m an aging punk rocker whos been following your trip since 95 or so. I recently went through an ugly seperation and soon to be divorce after 21 years of marriage. No issues or bullshit before just woke up to it. I’m out kids and all. Fucking bleak dark times, your music pushed me through and your will to survive kept me sane. Don’t ever fucking give up, keep going and know that yer helping others with your strength. See ya out there next time yer in NY

mod john • March 28th, 2011 at 8:05 pm

We are all trying to cope with this “life” thing; and as we get older- we begin to “suss out” what may (or may not) wait in the “beyond”. Whatever/however YOU can find to help you cope is acceptable… the pain of loss can be devastating, and as you “grow”… you learn that you can only really rely on yourself to get out/through things. Thank you! for having the balls to put this up… for having the courage to share, and for being strong enough to “guide” somebody who may just need a little hope in their life. I struggle everyday with my “losses”… but the music, and hope is “rations” enough to push forward. Thanks DP! “full-speed-ahead”!

Sandra • March 30th, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Wow… That was very inspiring. Thanks for sharing your feelings about some really crazy tough times in your life Duane… it means a lot and I think it will help a lot of other lost souls. I’m going to pass this on to my BF who has his own struggles. He thinks your the greatest and I think this will help give him hope as well. Good luck to you! God bless.

Leave a Response